bitching ii

[thedumbopt_imist]

idgaf if someone says im obligated or anything im not doing it either way
i want to hbae peace and they could never give me that and i dont wanna be around the people who made me feel so small when i was younger its why i hate hierarchies now


id wanna be on equal footing w most just so i can feel non subhuman

i dont rlly have a community ngl n ik there are good reasons im not in one n also why im single

i wonder when ill be willing to throw my life away i wish i had someone to ask for advice at random times anonymously without further consequences

if i do end up dying before my time i do not want my parents to be at my funeral

also my mom has this weird obsession w popping the pimples on me n my brothers faces n i hate it n im tired of her doing that and pointing them out

reminds me of my parents being mad i dont wanna play guitar for them unless i want to and how its a "talent" (its not, its a skill i LEARNED)
they were also yapping about how they can give criticism n stuff n help me how i cant do things alone n we need each other n some bullshit about how "were family we have to be there for each other we love you the most unlike OUTSIDERS why are you helping them n not US share with us"

its like they want to suck the lifeblood out of me

i want to not need them

my dad was like "if i take the guitar u cant play anymore, I BOUGHT IT FOR U"
yes but it doesnt mean anything w u saying that i still dont owe u my playing its a hobby i do for FUN

i want to cut them off
i want dignity
i want to be truly loved

i hope i dont end up being too needy in a relationship
i wish someone wanted me n js told me